I like to think that most of us are good neighbours to the wild animals we share this planet with. We feed the birds, grow flowers in the garden for bees and butterflies.  But if wildlife gets too close or, heaven forbid, enters our houses we’re reaching for the fly spray or a rolled-up newspaper. I get plenty of people complaining to me about home-invading wildlife as if I’m some sort of envoy for the animal kingdom. Yet while they moan about clothes moths in their wardrobe, I just stand there smiling, reassured by the knowledge that these people have wildlife living right under their noses. Well, to be more precise, right in their noses.

OK, I warn you now: after reading this article some of you will be scouring your face with a Brillo pad. But it’s time to face the facts. Your face is crawling with animals. You, yes you, have face mites. And there’s no ‘might’ about it – research has shown that 100% of adults have them.

Our faces are one big nature reserve for mites: from your mountainous nose and skin pore caves to your eyelash jungles. In fact, our faces are home to two different species. Demodex folliculorum thrive in your eyelashes while Demodex brevis lurk in your pores. They’re feeding on dead skin cells and oils but don’t harm us – a commensal parasite.

Before you run to the bathroom mirror, these guys are tiny. I’m not going to lie to you, they’re not pretty (unless you think a microscopic 8-legged slug is pretty) and under high-powered microscopes they look like something you’d encounter in a galaxy far, far away.

The egg and larval stages last two weeks and you’ll probably be relieved to hear that the adults live for just five days and then die. And it's right about here you’ll realise that these things are constantly mating on your face. You can scrub and scrub but you can’t wash away the hard truth: you’re just a mammal. And like dogs, cows, orangutans and meerkats we’re the perfect hosts for a range of parasites.

Personally, I’ve grown quite fond of my little pets – despite never being able to see them. When I go to bed at night, I imagine Clarence the Demodex, climbing from his pore, going for a wander across my cheek and hoping to meet a girlfriend. But instead he meets his nemesis Evil Arthur and a mite fight ensues until…well, you get the idea.

There are hundreds of these little adventures happening on your face every night. Sweet dreams.

By Michael Blencowe: Learning & Engagement Officer, Sussex Wildlife Trust

It’s easy to join online at: www.sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/join or T: 01273 497532