I’m crouching behind my sofa, hiding from a squirrel. While I’m here, peering angrily out of the patio window, it has given me time to reflect on the emotional journey that led me to this place.

There was a time I was nuts about squirrels. As soon as I could walk, I was out shrieking through the autumn leaves, trying to grab a squirrel’s bushy tail as it nimbly skedaddled up the nearest Sycamore. Looking back now, I’m not sure what I planned to do with a squirrel, had I ever caught one. It’s actually illegal to release a Grey Squirrel once caught because, despite their cute appearance, they can be extremely destructive.
 
The main problem is that they shouldn’t really be in Britain. The Grey Squirrel is a North American species and we can blame Herbrand Russell, 11th Duke of Bedford, for inviting them. Herbrand’s hare-brained plan was to import Grey Squirrels to embellish his estate at the start of the last century. Distributing squirrels as gifts, he and his landowner chums assisted their spread across England.

Our wildlife and landscape just weren’t designed to accommodate this brash new American and the native Red Squirrel, already in decline, was hit particularly hard. Attempts have been made over the years to control Britain’s Grey Squirrel population and protect the remaining Reds, and the battle continues, but across most of England it seems the Greys are here to stay.
 
In the last few weeks the battle has arrived in my back garden. I recently purchased a bird feeding station, an elaborate chandelier draped in peanut feeders, fat balls and coconut shells. Yet the Nuthatches, tits and finches are being usurped by a Grey Squirrel. I’m paying pounds and getting peanuts and it’s the squirrel who is packing his cheeks.

It feels like I have laid on a buffet for my friends, only to find some American bloke (who I don’t particularly like) has turned up to scoff the whole lot. For weeks, we have been locked in an ongoing arms race. I don’t want to hurt him – I just want him off my new bird feeder.

I’ve deployed Vaseline, peppers and counterbalances but each time I’ve been outwitted. He is agile, acrobatic and very clever. Today I cracked. I purchased a squirrel proof baffle: a large Perspex dome, 100% guaranteed to make my peanut feeder impregnable. I installed it as the squirrel watched curiously and, with a confident laugh, I returned to my front room…to find the squirrel was already back on the peanut feeder.

I have no idea how he’s doing it and he’s too smart to climb there if he’s being watched. So here I am, behind the sofa, trying to find out his secret. Whether trying to beat them nationally or just in our own back gardens, it really isn't reassuring to know we’re being outsmarted by a rodent.

Sussex Wildlife Trust is an independent charity caring for wildlife and habitats throughout Sussex. Founded in 1961, we have worked with local people for over half a century to make Sussex richer in wildlife.

We rely on the support of our members to help protect our rich natural heritage. Please consider supporting our work. As a member you will be invited to join Michael Blencowe on our regular wildlife walks and also enjoy free events, discounts on wildlife courses, Wildlife magazine and our Sussex guide book, Discovering Wildlife. It’s easy to join online at sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/join

By Michael Blencowe: Learning & Engagement Officer, Sussex Wildlife Trust.

Sussex Wildlife Trust is an independent registered charity caring for wildlife and habitats throughout Sussex. Join Michael Blencowe on our regular wildlife walks and also enjoy free events, discounts on wildlife courses, Wildlife magazine and our guide book: Discovering Wildlife in Sussex.

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Grey Squirrel Dave Kilbey Sussex WIldlife Trust
Grey Squirrel Alan Price Gatehouse Studio Sussex Wildlife Trust